boris johnson

  • You cannot be serious

    (Photo by Charles Deluvio)

    This week on planet earth: Australia deports a tennis champion and a Tory prime minister teeters on the edge of resignation over an undisclosed party.

    Let me guess…

    The tennis champ smashed his entire racket collection to pieces while effing and blinding at the umpire until, in a fit of pique, he turned his white-flannelled posterior to a waiting cameraman’s lens, pulled his shorts down and showed the whole of the moon to the whole world.

    And for seconds…

    Well, that’s easy. A Tory politician and a party? We’re talking an orange, a gimp suit, a fleet of extremely expensive high-end prostitutes, 5 litres of unfiltered extra virgin olive oil and a very well trained Jack Russell terrier. 


    They what?

    He didn’t take his vaccinations?


    An office party?

    A socially-distanced office party? 

    With a quiz?

    What the…?

    Did I fall into a coma and the whole world turned into Mary Whitehouse without me noticing?

    Someone wake me up.




    In Sweden, no one had to ask: are you social distancing?

  • Liked or unliked

    I wonder what the people who are not liked think?

    You might think you already know. You might say it’s easy to spot people who are not liked. Donald Trump? Hillary Clinton? Boris Johnson? Greta Thunberg?

    But of course, everybody we have ever heard of is liked by some group of people. That’s why we know them at all. They are doing it to be liked.

    You don’t have to like me

    Even when they say they’re not doing it to be liked, that they’re doing it because it’s the right thing to do, they’re still liked. Liked by the people who like to hear someone say they’re not doing it to be liked.

    Humans are social creatures in general. It’s our drive. But I wonder, what do the people who are not liked think? Those who go unseen. Those nobody notices.

    We’ll never know, of course. Because they’re not on social media. Or any platform of any kind. They’re unseen. Unliked.

    Talking of being liked, are you a smartphone addict?